I am officially out of my league. I have entered into the "us" and "them" phase of parenting young men. All those of you who have only pink children, and no blue, reserve your comments, please. (Unless you are a blue yourself, then you might have memories.) When our boys were small, it was fairly easy..."Boys can share the bathroom with boys, and girls with girls, but boys should not enter the bathroom when a girl is in there, and vice versa." We are a fairly modest family...there is no streaking around half-clothed or revolving doors on our bathrooms, bedrooms, etc. However, we have always been "open" to any discussion that may seem educational on matters of...well, let's just say "delicacy." We did not go the "babies are found under cabbage leaves in the far part of the garden" route...noting that storks are only birds and don't carry around bundles of anything other than perhaps straw for their nests. We had the appropriate talks when the topic arose and became a matter of "knowledge as needed" (mostly so they would not blurt out inappropriate questions at inappropriate times...I am sure you all remember the Alex hiccup incident quite well). Forthwith. Truthful. Stick to the Facts. No nonsense. Open. Honest. Our policy seemed to be working well. Everyone seemed comfortable asking the parental units meanings of new words being tossed about in the locker rooms, etc.
Until today.
Aimee and I were innocently shopping with Colin and Matt at the bookstore getting their books for school ($575.43 -- canyoubelieveitinyourwildestdreamsforhighschool?) and at Target shopping for miscellaneous things like pencils, pens, notebooks, etc. As we were discussing the various school subjects and needs for such, we happened to mention, very innocently and discreetly, "Well, do you guys need jock straps for P.E.? That's not on the list, but maybe they just assume that you would know that without it being written down, like underwear." WELL, you would have thought Aimee and I had taken off all our clothes and were dancing around Target in the nude from their reactions! "MOM...NOT HERE...don't talk about that HERE...someone might hear you. We DON'T need those, just drop it." Hmmmm....all this from a mere mention of...well, I won't mention it again in case he reads this, but youknowwhat. What's the deal with this, is this some sort of going through puberty thing that I am clueless about these days? I mentioned it to Mark and he said, "Well, I truthfully am not sure about this. I would just drop it, though, and if he needs one, he will come home and tell us and we will get it then." Sounded like excellent advice to me. (That, and guess who gets to shop with the boys from now on to avoid these sorts of slip ups?)
It's a conspiracy...men want to keep us guessing at all times...there is some secret brotherhood where they all know the rules and we can only, at best, sort of guess at them and hope we are at least pointed in the right direction. Clearly, mentioning "jock strap" in the middle of Target on a fine July morning is not one of those directions I have guessed correctly. Come to think of it, it has been happening more and more lately. Maybe girls are easier...I might have more of a shot of getting it right with girls. With the boys....I am way out of my league.